This is the first screen in the onboarding experience. I like how the word digital is used since it truly is a digital mental coach. This would mean there are no real coaches on the app. I would not use the word “peak", rather I would use “increased” to show that using the app to reach your goal is a process/experience and, it does not just take you to your highest level immediately. The use of the words “performance" and “productivity" is correct since performance is activity-based and productivity deals with results. The words can not be used interchangeably. An increase in performance would not lead to an increase in productivity. Here is how I would write this microcopy:
Your digital mental coach for increased performance and productivity.
On the first read, “find focus” was a bit confusing to me. I can see images in the grey background and the woman in the green background. From my understanding, it seems the images in the grey background are distractions. Here is how I would write this microcopy:
Focus with flow and reach your full potential
Once again, I want to show that using the app is an experience and not a one-time thing. You are not getting a key that unlocks a door to your full potential. You have to go through a process. That is why I used the word "reach".
The third screen in, and I still do not understand the context in which they use Flow. I would take away the first sentence. A UX writer should write about the benefits of a product and how it affects the user rather than other users. Also, that sentence does not do much other than confusing users. Here is how I would write this microcopy:
Learn how mentally and emotionally fit you are
This screen gives the user an insight into the app. The word flow has been played with a lot. As a user, seeing it on the first screen would be nice, but not on consecutive screens. I would remove the word “individual" because it is redundant. I would write this microcopy as:
Train your mind with plans tailored just for you
Remember how I said using the app is a process, and I used words to show that it is a process? Imagine I did not do all that and went right with this screen. That would have been embarrassing. This screen shows your progress over time. This app is for emotional and mental fitness. It is said on the third screen. Repeating it would be too much. I would write this microcopy like this:
Track your progress and see how you develop over time
* The CTA buttons could have used the word flow. Instead of “get started" it could have been “begin your flow" and “login" could have been “continue your flow". It may seem a lot but would have been worth it.
* There were irregularities. Some screens used punctuations (exclamation marks and periods), while some did not have punctuation marks.
*Although I do not like some words used, I like how the screens progressed into one another and how they helped explain what the app was about (even though they did not do a great job explaining the whole flow concept).